Es gibt keine wirklichen Grund, warum der Text auf Englisch ist, außer vielleicht dass Englisch nicht meine Muttersprache ist. Ich fühle und denke weniger intensiv auf Englisch und daher war es vielleicht ein Versuch Distanz zu der Situation und den Gefühlen und Gedanken herzustellen.

Getting the words out of the system, the thoughts out of my head. The feeling out in the open. Let the fear spring free from right under the surface of my skin.
Mortality, being breakable, easily destructible, that’s what we are, that’s what we try to forget every minute of every fucking day. And then again, we cannot. It’s always creeping back in. The thought we try to supress, the feeling we don’t wanne have, the things we are eager to ignore, the wisdom of our hearts and lives.

We are breakable creatures. There is an end date to our live. And we will never know, when its going to hit us. We may assume, we may guess, we can try to estimate. And we couldn’t be more wrong. If statistic says you going to die in your eighties, the statistic does not include the car from around the corner that you won’t see in five minutes.
I just got a minor reminder of my own mortality. Nothing mayor, just that my body seems to be eager to remind me, that I’m indeed not a superwoman, just a woman. There may be a lot of power in me, but nothing out of extraordinary, just the usual everyday kind of power every human on this planet has. The one that ends, when you find yourself weak. When you find out, that you can’t manage all, do everything. When you find out that it’s far less important how much power you have, but much more important how much support you have around you.
The reminder you need to find out, you don’t have to be superwoman, because there is no such thing.
So in the end it’s probably something to be grateful for. Because it brings me closer to the things that really matter. And even so I do wish, I will come out of this without mayor damage, I will try to remember the message. Thus far I am grateful for everything I have, for family and friends and for not being alone in this world. Because every ounce of power you might possess, is worth a shit when you are on your own.